In a week in which we lost the ‘King of Pop’ it set me to thinking about how long ago it was that he really could genuinely claim that crown. Personally I’d argue that he never came close to equalling the genius of Thriller and that his last 20 odd, and they were odd, years added nothing to his legend. That wasn’t the end of my thinking, not a bit of it, I truly had my thinking head on today. So, I thought, why would you bother to release a pop single if it wasn’t as good as the King of Pop. He set a benchmark and this week we’ll see how the latest releases match up to the legend that was Michael Jackson. Scientific? No. Unfair? Yes. Let’s crack on.

Killa Kela has been kicking around for years so it comes as a shock to find that Built like an amplifier is his debut. I remember seeing his human beatbox routine as warmup act for S.F.A about 10 years ago and it didn’t lead me to expect him to eventually release a record that sounds like NIN fighting it out with Def Leppard. But, is it as good as The Girl is Mine? No.

Ahh, the Saturdays, so cute you just can’t help loving them can you? On the basis of new single Work I certainly can. As four letter words beginning with ‘W’ and ending in ‘K’ go, Work isn’t the one that springs immediately to mind on hearing this pitiful slop that is ideally suited, I suppose, to helping middle aged mums keep to their Wii Fit routine for another week. Not even as good as Bad.

The Cheatahs have a proper old skool misspelled pop name so that is a plus point before we start. Musically it is balanced finely somewhere between Dinosaur Jnr and Teenage Fanclub and is refreshingly lo-fo, mangling, as it does, an acoustic guitar through the fuzz pedal from hell. A gentle stroll towards a migrane – it isn’t Billy Jean but it is worth a listen.

Birdy Nam Nam present us with a French electro dirge called The Parachute Ending which makes Earth Song seem quite brilliant. Enough said. Avoid. The Jacks however have their hats tipped at a jaunty angle as they canter through Not me not you which is reminiscent of early Bluetones. It just lacks a decent hook or spark of originality and thus can’t be considered in the same breath as Black or White.

Nara has released Serenity about 15 years too late. It is the kind of faceless post house pop that killed off Top of The Pops back in the 1990s. It sounds badly dated and not unlike Everybody’s Free without the hook or tune. More shocking bobbins than Rockin’ Robin. Chasing Liz’s Gravity Girl hits the ground with a resounding thump. Saturated with pitch correcting vocoder awfulness this bland, cod-funk, has no right to take any place inside my head. Truly ghastly this goes Off the wall and straight into the bin.

Netsayi’s Punch Drunk is equally dreadful, like Tanita Tikaram meets Kate Nash and not in a good way. She sings of contemplating freedom from a place of captivity and, tonight, I know how you feel love. David Saw implores us to Buy my record but while I might hand a busker 20p if I heard him playing this jaunty tune I wouldn’t give him a record contract. It is OK – what a recommendation! Still not as good as Wanna be startin’ something though.

Fredo Violais, at least, a little more diverting with a lead track which harks back to 70’s icons such as Wizzard and the Quo. The rest of the EP is a bit hit and miss though and resorts to lazy bleeps and widdles after a while. Nowhere near as good as Thriller obviously. Billy Talent, one presumes, is an ironic name. Their Rusted from the rain single is the sort of slick, hollow and overproduced North American toss that makes Bon Jovi look quite understated and meek. If this is what major labels now consider to be viable pop talent then it wasn’t just Jacko that was Wacko. Not even as good as Earth Song. Yep, that bad.

Surely there must be at least one decent release this week? Well Lissie Trullie makes a game effort with her Self Taught Learner EP which drops her drawling Chrissie Hynde pastiche vocals over what appears to be outtakes from the Strokes debut. It is half decent and that is at least 45% more decent than any of the other releases this week. But it sure ain’t Beat it.

So, the Music Fix Single of the Week for 29th June 2009 goes to Michael Jackson and Beat it. Rest in peace you strange, strange man.

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